Ignescent
by pailyanchors
Summary: Devastated by a break up with the one person she truly loved Spencer finds solace in Paige and Emily, but as their friendship grows, Spencer finds more than solace in Paige.
1. Chapter 1

Ignescent.

It had been two months since the liars found out about Toby and is role in the A club, two months since Spencer fell apart in slow motion. If you could picture a glass full of water falling off a table, half full, half spilling, until it shattered onto the floor, you would be able to see Spencer in the reflection of the glass crystals. Not only had she given herself to him in so many ways, he betrayed her trust, the only thing that A had not been able to take away from her, until then. The girls circled the wagons around Spencer and held her up as best as they could, Paige taking the lead. Although they had previously clashed, their personalities were so uniquely similar, Paige felt herself falling for the girl in so many ways. Not only did she feel as protective towards Spencer as she did Emily, she was subtly attracted to her drive, her personality, her distinctive flair that could only be described as Spencer. There was no way that she could ever love anyone other than Emily, but on a physical level, Paige could not fight the attraction towards Spencer.

Hanna and Aria tried the best they could to comfort Spencer, but between their own relationships and their lives, Emily and Paige built the firm and main support system that Spencer could fall upon. Spencer actually preferred to spend her time with the couple, finding solace in their experiences of love and loss and everything in between. Most nights she found herself welled up in Paige's bedroom, draped in a sweatshirt or blanket of Paige's, listening to Paige's extensive vinyl collection, lying on floor pillows trying not to let herself fall apart. The two of them developed a complicated friendship, based purely on the experience of devastation in the beginning, and later on trust and love.

In the beginning it was Emily who brought them together, forging a bond that would take them a while to perfect, but in the end, it was stronger than steel. In the beginning it was the three girls, two holding up the tallest girl from drowning herself in verse of suicide notes, silent screams, incessant running, and the hole of darkness she tiptoed on the edge of. Many nights Emily would wake in the middle of the night to see Spencer's bedroom light on from across the way or catch her running around the block at full speed. It was her way of escaping, but not escaping at all. And although Emily constantly wanted Spencer to talk about her struggle and get inside her head, it was Paige who silently comforted Spencer is giving her a comfortable space to open up. It was Paige who could relate so well and understand the growing pain inside Spencer's chest. She could read her eyes as they silently sat across from each other at lunch. It was Paige that Spencer accepted any physical touch from; it was Paige who Spencer craved.

It was the night of the winter ball when everything became too much for Spencer to handle. The three girls convinced Spencer to go to the ball with them with the intention of making her feel better and after getting her ready, decided she looked gorgeous. Hair down, red floor length dress, with matching nails and lipstick, she made her way down the stairs from her room into the living room. Waiting for the girls at the bottom were Paige, Caleb, and Ezra. Although Aria and Ezra were going out for the night in Philadelphia, the friends agreed to all get ready together, despite their various destinations.

As beautiful as Paige found Emily, tonight she could not deny the feelings she had been developing for Spencer, and watching her descend from the stairs stirred from under the surface. And although she felt she was betraying Emily, she also realized that Emily would never truly love Paige as much as she had loved Maya. She realized that there would always be a disconnect, no matter how Emily made up for it, and Paige didn't blame her for it. Their relationship was growing, but she knew, for now, how Emily felt. And knowing this only brought her more mixed emotions in her liking Spencer, not to mention the fact that Spencer had just been broken by Toby and his relentless games.

The rest of the girls came down the stairs and joined their dates to take a few group pictures before departing for their ball. Knowing that she would be alone, Paige brought both Spencer and Emily roses to match their dresses, a gesture that only made Spencer fall for Paige a little bit further. Paige wore a purple rose corsage attached to her suit jacket, symbolizing red for Spencer and blue for Emily's shorter dress color. She then attached a corsage to Emily's dress and moved to Spencer. And as Paige attached Spencer's rose to the strap of her dress, the electricity and warmth of her touch melted Spencer, who's dark brown eyes shot to Paige's. The two of them stood in silence staring at each other lost in the moment, until Paige broke the gaze, focusing her attention of the rest of the girls, secretly running her fingertips down the back Spencer's arm as she turned around.

Touching Spencer was something she was so confident of, something that had always caused her to be unsure of with Emily, something that made her shake in embarrassment and uncertainty. Things were different when she was around Spencer, they met on a level of determination and sheer power to be on top, it was a confidence that Emily softened whenever she was around. And although Paige had loved Emily for years, growing closer to Spencer somehow changed that love into something different; she opened her eyes to something new, something that would spark a wild fire if the flint was ever ignited.

As the group left the house and got into their respective cars, Spencer was the last to leave, locking the doors behind them, Paige waited as Emily made her way to Hanna's Mercedes, to assist Spencer down the stairs. Raising her hand to the brunette, Paige led the girl down the stairs to the slate pathway. Spencer knew that this night was going to be difficult for so many reasons: she neither wanted to attend the dance in the first place, hurt her best friend by falling for her girlfriend, or find herself in the middle of more painful experiences. She also realized that she would not be able to distract herself from wanting Paige's arms around her, her warm embrace, the scent of her body wash on her lips, and her understanding eyes crawling into the depths of her soul. And before she realized what she was doing she whispered into Paige's ear "You look beautiful tonight Paige, hold me up should I fall." before she made her way to the truck. She had no idea what she meant, but understood on a subconscious level her intentions.

Following her a few steps behind, she ran over to Emily who was just about to step into Hanna's car and asked her if she didn't mind splitting up. "I don't want Spencer to drive alone, I'm nervous that she'll change her mind halfway to the hotel or do something crazy." she explained to Emily. "Yeah of course, I wish I had realized this before. That's why you're the brains of this operation." she smiled, "call me on the way if you need anything." Paige responded by opening the door and seeing Emily into the backseat before heading over to Spencer's truck.

Opening the passenger side door she caught Spencer off guard while she slipped into the car silently. The two looked at each other with such intensity that Spencer was unsure that she would be able to start the truck and follow the girls and restrain herself from climbing over the center console and kissing Paige. Paige leaned over and placed her hand on Spencer's and whisper in her raspy sultry voice "I'll hold you up as long as you need me to." And with that Spencer sighed and started the truck. It was definitely going to be a long night at the very least.

While Spencer drove to the dance, Paige grabbed her ipod and played DJ during the drive. The two listened in silence to the songs Paige selected, ever so often glancing at each other, trying to read each other, each fearing that they were falling for each other, leaving Emily behind. Arcade Fire and Florence and the Machine filled the space between their brains and their hearts and the piercing pull the two were feeling toward each other. As they pulled into the parking lot and found a space at the end of the row, Spencer turned off the engine and leaned over to Paige, "I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to hurt Emily, but I can't stand how I feel anymore. Why is it you that understands the wreck I feel inside? Why?" she whispered on the verge of tears. Paige leaned over and caressed her face with her palm, "Because you and me are the same, we are opposites, I know what it's like to feel like ending it all. I know that pain in your chest you can't shake no matter how you want to" she responded "because we know what it's like to love and to lose."

With that she got out of the car and walked around to the driver's side door and opened it for Spencer. The two walked silently towards Hanna's car where Paige opened the door for Emily. The three walked hand in hand while they made their way to the entrance of the hall. Hanna, being Hanna had finagled her way into renting two hotel rooms for them to party in after the dance ended and had snagged several bottles of alcohol to party with. And although Emily hadn't been drinking much since the summer's events, she decided that she would be drinking for different reasons and let Hanna convince her to stay.

The group walked into the dance and sat down for the dinner which passed slowly, even by Rosewood High standards. It was boring and the girls were itching to dance or mingle anything to pass the time until they would be able to leave. The time passed even slower for Spencer who kept gazing at Paige, attempting with every fiber of her being to convince herself that she could not hurt Emily, that she wouldn't break them apart after everything they had been through, that she wouldn't let herself fall for the one person who understood her.

After seemed an eternity, the dinner ended and the couples lined up to take pictures with the photographer, as Spencer waited just outside the hallway. Hanna and Caleb went first and headed back into the hall, squeezing Spencer's hand as they passed. Spencer stood by as Emily and Paige took a picture, and as they rounded the corner, the two girls got back in line. Grabbing her by the hips, Emily pushed Spencer into the room and in front of the cheesy backdrop and sandwiched her in between herself and Paige. One on either side, they turned towards Spencer and landed kisses on her cheeks as the camera snapped.

Flash bulbs were not just going off in the room, but in Spencer's head as both Paige's and Emily's lips departed from her porcelain cheek, which was now turning a bring shade of pink. Emily led the girls onto the dance floor, where she began to dance with Spencer and Paige to the heavy beat of the bass. Lost in the lights of the DJ and the sounds of the speakers, Emily grabbed Spencer, yelling in her ear over the loudness of the music, "Spencer, just try to have fun tonight, let go of it all, I want you to enjoy yourself, not matter what that means. You're my best friend, I'd like to see you smile for just one night." And with that placed a kiss on her cheek and began dancing again.

It felt like the room was spinning around Spencer. She had no idea what Emily meant by her statement. How could she know that she was feeling something for Paige? Did she know she was feeling something for Paige? Her thoughts raced a million miles a minute which she tried to process what was happening to her, but to no avail could she make sense of it all. If Spencer was a pile of tinder and Paige was the flint, Emily had just served as the catalyst to the wild fire that was happening.

The night progressed quickly after that and Spencer allowed herself to have a few moments of happiness while she danced closely to Emily, understanding how any one with half a brain could be mesmerized by her beauty. Emily often threw her arms around Spencer and held her closely while she moved her body to the beat of the music. It made Spencer dizzy to feel the girl surrounding her and she understood how Paige could easily fall for Emily. She felt the ache in her chest intensify each time Emily nuzzled her face into the crook of her shoulder, consumed by her emotions, Spencer struggled to keep herself from drowning in the moment, drowning in the two girls that held her together.

Saved by the DJ, a slower song came over the crowd and the couples began to break away from their groups and pair up for the typical high school slow dance. As Spencer began to turn around and head for the balcony for some fresh air, Emily gently grabbed her shoulder, "Dance with Paige, you know I hate the slow stuff, she deserves a decent partner for the night." and made her way to the balcony with some girls from the swim team. Paige stood behind Spencer and as she turned around to meet her dance partner, Paige held her hand out to the brunette and slowly bowed her head. "May I have this dance?" she asked Spencer, who was more than eager to oblige.

Spencer quickly drew herself into Paige's body, wrapping her arms around the auburn haired girl's shoulders, burring her face in the crook of her neck. Paige rested her hands around Spencer hips, letting them rest on her back. She couldn't help but inhale Paige's scent of fresh and fruity notes, she smelled like strawberries and sandalwood, she smelled like comfort and strength. They rocked back and forth to the poorly composed songs that their peers agreed were the ballads of their generation, their bodies fit perfectly like puzzle pieces. Swept up in the atmosphere Spencer found herself whispering in Paige's ear for a third time that night before she knew what she was doing, "Don't let me fall alone Paige, please" she pleaded. Paige took one hand from Spencer's back and held the back of her head and whispered back "I'll catch you every time" she responded and kissed her earlobe.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks for the love McHastings lovers! I was a little worried that I scared everyone away with all the feels, so hopefully I don't put anyone over the edge this time, but overkill_max, definitely in for it this time, I'm sorry! I'm not sure about a future update, but I'll think on it. Lemme know your thoughts in the review section. xox

Ignescent. Part II.

The couple stood there for a long time, swaying to each other's pulse. Spencer hadn't felt this safe in a long while and as the time passed and the song rotation continued, she could have sworn that she could feel Paige's pulse match her own, their hearts pressed together, mimicking muscle contractions. Spencer let the touch deafen her to her doubts. The doubts that consumed her, that told her that she was a serial partner stealer, that she was destined to destroy anyone she had feelings for, that she was destined to destroy herself before anyone got close from now on. Clinging on to the beautiful brunette girl she let it all fall by the waist side, her mind quieted and she allowed herself to feel for the time being. Spencer would not trade this moment of perfection for the world and she desperately hoped that Paige felt the same.

As the last dance song came over the speakers, Emily entered the room from outside, and as she scanned the dance floor for her girlfriend, she came upon a scene that both broke her heart but also gave her a sense of relief. She knew she was leading on Paige, whether she wanted to admit it or not. And although she was forcing herself in so many ways to be happy with her, her own heart was still broken. She knew it was unfair to Paige, but at the same time she had an inkling of how much Paige truly loved her. They were hanging on to a relationship that would only end in heartbreak for the both of them. And seeing Spencer buried in Paige's body made her realize the truth that she had been dancing around for some time, Spencer was truly in love with the intensity known as Paige.

Emily would make a sacrifice that evening, she understood for the first moment in her life, how much Paige did truly love her. Letting her go would be something she would truly regret for some time, but she also understood how much Spencer needed her, how deeply Spencer truly felt about her girlfriend. Walking over to the couple she grabbed their hands and held them in her own, both girls terrified at the words that would come out of Emily's mouth. "I want you both to listen to me. I can see how you both feel about each other, there's no denying that there's a connection between you two. And deep down, I'm actually happy that you have found each other." Paige could do nothing but look down at her feel, embarrassed for somehow betraying her feelings toward Emily. She harbored them for so long and if it hadn't been for Emily, she would have ended her own suffering long ago. She was indebted to Emily.

"Paige, look at me" Emily raised her head to meet her gaze, a mixture of warmth and sadness. "I know this is not what you expected to hear from me tonight, but I can't betray you any longer. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I want nothing in the world more than you to be happy, and if it's with Spencer, that's okay. She's good for you. And I know I might not be and I don't want to hurt you any longer." All Paige could do was shake her head in a refusal to crying. She knew Emily was right, and every word she spoke was true. Her grip on Emily's hand tightened "I'm sorry Em, you know I'll always love you. Always" and with this Emily leaned in and kissed Paige harder and deeper than she ever had. Paige was speechless at this, once Emily had broken their embrace.

Turning to Spencer who was frozen in place at the exchange that had just taken place in front of her, Emily took both of her hands into her own and met her gaze. Spencer's emotions were in fully over-assaulted at the exchange, causing her to forget her instinctual fight or flight, to which she secretly was curing herself. "Spence, you know I've loved you since I was twelve. I always looked up to you, the strength, intellect, and beauty of Spencer Hastings was something I always envied. I may not understand everything you're going through, but I see the same glints in Paige's eyes. I see the same things in both of you, your strength and your struggle. She's the best thing that ever happened to me, but I know you'll take care of her and that she'll be the rock you need." Emily leaned in and whispered into Spencer's ear "Love her like I wish I could. Love her because I can't do her justice. I love you Spence. This doesn't change us, it never will, it just makes us stronger. I love you." and with that kissed Spencer on the cheek once more and left the two girls on the dance floor among the shining blue lights, watching her walk away.

Spencer turned to Paige and grabbed onto her for dear life, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. Paige squeezed her back, speechless to the last few minutes, shocked at Emily's wise and foolish words. "Take me home" Spencer sobbed to Paige who intertwined her fingers into the crying girl's hand.

As they left the doors of the hall, Paige automatically shed her jacket and placed it over Spencer's shoulders, a gesture that came automatically to Paige. Walking down the parking lot to Spencer's truck, the girls walked silently next to each other, occasionally bumping into the other's hip or arm, tears still falling down Spencer's cheeks. Paige ran around to the passenger side door to open it for Spencer. She was in no state to drive or protest so followed Paige's lead. Opening her clutch, Spencer unlocked the doors and handed the keys to Paige, and while their hands both held onto the keys, Spencer lunged towards Paige, finding her lips as if they were the magnetic mate's to her own. Extending her arms, she wrapped her free arm around Paige as if she never wanted to let go.

Kissing Spencer opened the flood gates of both of their emotional powerhouses. Paige felt sorry for Emily at that moment, but also understood her actions. Emily's humility was always something that Paige envied. And as their lips explored their mates, Paige found herself lost for breath, and slowly falling into Spencer's body. Breaking the kiss, Spencer looked up into Paige's eyes with a bit of a smile across her face. She genuinely surprised herself in initiating the kiss, but was glad she did. The leaned against each other's foreheads for a moment before Paige pecked Spencer's lips and took the keys from Spencer's hand and closed her door.

They drove to Spencer's house in a comfortable silence, much like the one they had driven to the dance in. Spencer played DJ this time, selecting Lana Del Rey songs, as much as she knew it annoyed Paige. One thing that Paige and Spencer had fought about early in their friendship was Spencer's quirky and often poor music choices. And although Paige held the record for most vinyl stored in a bedroom, Spencer had quickly bought several records to begin her collection, Born to Die, being one of her first. As annoyed at Spencer as Paige could get, she attempted to respect her choice. As Paige drove, Spencer made her way to lean across the center console to lean on Paige's shoulder as they drove through the night.

Paige parked the SUV in the driveway and got out to open Spencer's door yet again, Spencer admiring Paige's suaveness no matter the circumstances. Walking hand in hand, Paige stopped at the front door and kissed Spencer's hand, "I had an amazing time dancing with you tonight…" and as she attempted to continue her halfhearted and reluctant goodbye, Spencer interrupted her, "Paige, please stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone. I don't expect anything or want to rush you into anything. I just want someone next to me for a while. Please?" she pleaded. Paige could not deny the beautiful words, the classically beautiful girl standing so close to her, or the depth within her eyes, and proceeded to nod.

As a surprise to no one, the Hastings were not home and Melissa was at the brownstone in Philadelphia, leaving the girls alone together. The two entered the kitchen where Spencer proceeded to find a small glass and fill it with water. Paige watched with intensity as Spencer shed her suit jacket and unpinned the rose from her lapel. Slipping the rose into the water glass, Spencer then proceeded to unpin her own rose and slip it into the same glass. Spencer then proceeded to place the glass on the fireplace mantel and signaled for Paige to follow her to the staircase.

Bringing her up to her room, Spencer intertwined her fingers into Paige's, leading her step by step, until she reached her doorway. Spinning Paige around, she pressed her onto the door frame and took her face into her hands. Leaning in, Spencer seductively closed the space between her and her prince and barely licked Paige's bottom lip, causing her to feel Paige's warm breath on her own. As intoxicating as she imagine Paige to be, she was wrong by leagues. Paige instinctively leaned in before Spencer could back away, caught her in a kiss. A kiss that seemed to vanish any fear or insecurities that Spencer had been harboring, a kiss that made her weak in the knees, a kiss that led Spencer to lean her hips into Paige's, and softly moan into the other girl's mouth.

And as their kissing intensified, Spencer raised her fingers to explore Paige's neck and muscular shoulders, arms to her fingertips, stopping long enough at each point of her body to memorize the muscles, the scars, the shapes, the warmth, the electricity she was coaxing out of them. She found herself unbuttoning Paige's shirt, she needed to feel more, she needed to feel warm, in control, and Paige was accepting of this. As soon as her shirt hung open, Spencer was awed as the tone frame that was Paige. Running her fingers over the athlete's torso, Spencer made Paige shiver at her touch.

Leading them into the room, Paige slowly turned Spencer around and began to place kisses on the back of Spencer's neck and shoulders, and slowly began to unzip the dress that was confining Spencer. As she did this, Spencer was left in nothing but her bra and boy-shorts, a habit she picked up from Paige, something she would never have thought of herself. One afternoon after school while Spencer was working on homework, Paige brought her laundry up to her room from the dryer. As she began to fold her garments, Spencer watched her, noticing a collection of boy-short cut underwear and a few pairs of boxer briefs. "How can you wear those?" she questioned Paige. "You have no idea how comfortable they are until you try them, honestly, I wouldn't mislead the great Hastings" she responded and walked over to her dresser. Opening her underwear drawer, she opened a new package she was saving for the beginning of swim season and tossed a pair to Spencer. "Thanks McCullers? I had no idea getting into your pants was so easy" she chided as she put them into her bag. After her shower that evening, Spencer put on the underwear and never looked back, essentially buying out Target of their whole collection.

Spencer crossed the room and closed her shades and lit the few candles that were placed on her dresser and Paige sat herself on the bed. Spencer walked over to her growing collection of records and began to sort her way through them, looking for the perfect one, the one she would finally lay in bed with Paige with. And although she had forced Paige to listen to Lana Del Rey in the car, she wasn't quite done listening to her for the night, and as soon she picked up the envelope, Paige dashed her way across the room. "Please anything else besides the Diet Mountain Dew queen, pleaseee" she pleaded as she began to wrestle the scantily clad girl to the chase lounge.

As Paige landed on top of Spencer, her weight held Spencer down, as she caught her in a series of breathtaking kisses. Spencer dropped the record to the floor and reached up, scratching Paige's back lightly under her unbuttoned shirt. She wanted it off and slowly sat Paige up, removing it as they continued to duel for dominance. Paige left Spencer on the lounge and selected a Kings of Leon record and put it on Spencer's turntable. As she placed the needle down on the spinning vinyl, she felt Spencer's arms around her midsection, as she attempted to unbutton her pants.

Paige turned around and stopped Spencer's fumbling hands. "Listen Spence, I don't want to rush things. Don't think I won't wait. Tonight is the first night of many to come, if you'll have me…" she sighed. "I'm not sure if you'll feel the same way about a lot of things… I… have a lot of scars, I'm not sure if you should see them." Paige looked deep into Spencer's eyes. Spencer was sorry about a lot of things tonight, but being here with Paige was not one of them and no matter what scars Paige wore, they proved her resilience to the destruction she faced. She was a fighter and that's what Spencer needed and loved about Paige.

All she could do was nod and stare back into the brown eyes that read her so well. "Paige, there is nothing in this world that would make me feel differently about you, ever. I admire everything that you've gone through. You're the strongest person I've ever known. If you don't want me to see them, I respect that. But don't ever think that because you have them, I'd think differently about you." "Okay" was all Paige could respond with.

With that said Spencer led Paige to her bed and laid her down as she unbuttoned her pants and threw them to the ground. Paige leaned on her elbows as she nervously watched Spencer trace the outlines of the scars on Paige's legs, something she had never let Emily do, not that they had gotten to this point, and Paige wasn't sure that she wanted her to. Spencer leaned in to kiss each line, some shallow, others deeper and defiantly raised, refusing to blend in to her skin. Spencer kissed the spaces that were empty from faded scars, that she knew had to have disappeared, but hurt Paige none the less.

Spencer made her way up Paige's torso, kissing her and making her shiver on contact from Spencer's warm breath in the ever growing colder room. It was an unusually cold December in Rosewood and the chill began to settle around the girls. Noticing this Spencer and Paige quickly made their way under Spencer's down comforter. Entangling their limbs, Spencer laid on top of Paige, hovering inches from her lips.

The Kings of Leon played on in the background while the girls explored each other's bodies. Everything about Paige and Spencer was slow and sensual, the kisses, the hand holding, the moaning. Discovering Spencer's pressure points, her ear lobes, the spot where her neck met her collar bone, the back of her shoulders, her hip bones and Paige's sensitivity to Spencer's light finger tips when she ran them over her breasts. For hours the explored what pleased the other, competition driving them the second time around. And after some time, exhaustion met the girls straight on. Just before falling asleep, Spencer untangled herself from Paige's grip and put on Paige's shirt, making the rounds to make sure the doors were locked and the candles were out. Rounding the corner into her room she noticed Paige standing at the now open curtains of her room wrapped up in her blanket.

It was snowing out, the first time for the season, it was new, it was refreshing. Spencer kissed the back of Paige's head and led them back to bed. Settling in next to her girl, Spencer sighed a breath of relief; it was the first time in months that she was truly safe and happy. Rolling over, Spencer buried herself into Paige and slept soundly for the first time in years.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N I literally couldn't keep my fingers off the keyboard for part III. So much amazing support from CiCi, Charli, LadyWinthrop, brittga24 (check her out for some seriously amazing paily!) and go-sullivan (check her out for some seriously amazing spemily, trust me on this.), my ladylove brie (who reads my fics cause she loves me) and anyone else I forgot to mention, I'm sure there are some, sorry! I can't thank y'all enough, it fuels a writer to know you like what end up on the page. I promise more updates to Bound soon! Again, thank you thank you thank you! Love you guise!_

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Ignescent Part III

Morning came too quickly for Paige, the bright white light burned her eyes for a few seconds until she adjusted to her environment, the realization that she was curled up next to Spencer. And like a pile of bricks and the fast rewind of the night's actions, sighed into the back of the girl's shoulder. Curling tighter to the sleeping brunette, Paige reveled in the touch, something she was craving, something that melted her usually stone exterior. She found herself numb, more often than not, within the last months. Everything that had happened with the abduction and the killing made her head spin and although she had wanted to grow closer to Emily, they no longer connected as they had. And after the admission from Toby that he was playing for the A team once Spencer found a burn phone in his jacket, things continued to call apart. Watching Spencer fall into a catatonic state was painful enough, but as Emily drifted, Paige found herself falling into a miserable state.

Knowing herself well enough, Paige pushed through by running herself ragged. Spending more time in the pool, more time training, running and biking by herself helped to clear her head. The physical exhaustion forced her to sleep most days, without it she would spend the night tossing and turning, fighting the pain that swallowed her whole.

The time she spent with Spencer was a god send on her darkest days. Although it was a rough start, they found a gentle rhythm of texts and calls, eating together at lunch, meetings in the library during their free period, they were comfortable around each other. Paige never had to explain herself to Spencer and never expected answers in return. She understood when Spencer needed to talk and was open to listening, never judging as the other girls did unintentionally.

Spencer listened to Paige's breathing, she realized she was awake already and turned over. They had barely gotten four hours of sleep and she noticed Paige was already up, moving to brush a few stray pieces of hair from her face, Spencer smiled at Paige. She had had an amazing time the night before although she was walking into new territory, unknowing if the morning would be as sweet of an atmosphere as it was last night. "Hey" she said in her trademark raspy voice. "Hey" responded Paige with a smile. "You okay?" she continued. "Very much. I had an amazing time last night Spence. Truly I did." Taking Spencer's fingers, she examined each one, kissing their tips, before holding them in her own.

Moving closers to Paige, Spencer draped her arms over her torso and leaned in for a kiss, which lead to several minutes of passionate kissing between the two. They both had dark sides as evidenced in their pasts, but kissing made Paige feel light, like she was flying. They laid in silence until Spencer's stomach growled. Their vigorous physical activities had truly worn them out and made Spencer unusually hungry. "Breakfast?" she questioned a very naked Paige who laid beside her. "Please" she responded, "…but I'm going to need some clothes first."

Leaning over the side of the bed, Spencer dressed herself once again in Paige's button down and sauntered over to her dresser grabbing underwear and sweats for the both of them. Sitting on the opposite sides of the bed, the girls dressed simultaneously. Paige turned around to grab a shirt from the bed, but Spencer was too quick. Taking off out of the bedroom, she ran downstairs and positioned herself between the island and the refrigerator. Paige was only a step behind her and now stood in the cold, tiled kitchen in only sweatpants and a bra. It was unlike Spencer to play such games, but kissing Paige for hours had made her feel light, relieved, and dare say, happy.

"You're going to have to catch me if you want it" she giggled for the first time in weeks. Paige took chase as she followed Spencer through the first floor, finally catching her in the library. Cornered against a book shelf and a large leather couch, Paige dove for the shirt and missed falling into the couch. Giggling, Spencer threw herself on top of her helpless victim and began a ticklefest, in which she could not help initiate. The cold leather made Paige shiver but fighting off Spencer warmed her up, she would not, under any circumstances let Spencer dominate this ticklefest.

In between breaths, Paige made a grab for the shirt and darted back to the kitchen. Knowing that Spencer would require coffee in a matter of minutes she positioned herself in front of the coffee pot, Paige was good at playing defense and it was her turn to get back at Spencer. "Oh no McCullers, you can't possibly keep me from my coffee, you will surely lose this game" she yelled from across the room and with a few quick steps, closed the space between her, Paige and the coffee pot. And as quickly as she went to dive for the on button of the automatic coffee pot, Paige caught her in a tackle, lifted her over her shoulder and spun her around. "Paiigggeee!" she yelled "Coffeeee nowww!" she was giggling as Paige made a victory lap around the island finally placing Spencer back on her feet next to the worshiped appliance.

"You are going to get it for that one." she snarked at auburn haired girl, pushing her softly as Paige wrapped her arms around Spencer. And as she pressed the on button, the machine refused to turn on. Scrambling out of the embrace she checked the power cord, plugged in, "Spence?" Paige began, but her mouth was covered gently by Spencer's hand. She was listening for the hum of the refrigerator, but to no avail, did she hear a sound. Opening the fridge she found the light to be off. "For fuck's sake, the power must have gone out with the snow." exclaimed Spencer, annoyed that she wouldn't be able to have her usual instant caffeine drip. Moving to look out the back windows Paige noticed that they had gotten at least a foot since it started in the middle of the night. "Looks like we're staying put for now." she informed an increasingly annoyed brunette. "There's a French press downstairs in the storage cabinet, will you come with me? I've been afraid of the basement since I was a kid, especially because it's going to be extra dark with the windows covered by snow." she asked Paige, knowing full well that her fear was irrational. "Sure, anything for you chickie. Who would have thought, Spencer Hastings, afraid of the dark." Spencer grabbed two flash lights from the pantry closet and made her way over to the basement door. Opening it, she looked at Paige, who decided for Spencer's benefit she would go first.

It was a finished basement with a fully stocked wet bar, a poker table, couches, and a flat screen TV. There was also a utility room and a series of closets that were stocked with odd and ends and supplies. It was a rarity for Spencer to spend time down here, usually her dad hosted the boys from the firm or close clients from businesses he worked with, playing poker, drinking, and smoking cigars late into the night. And Spencer was fine with that, she preferred the library or her room to any other place in the house. And although she had the barn to herself now that Melissa spent most of her time in the city, she spent most of her time in her room.

As the girls made their way to the closets, Paige took in the sights of the entertainment room, which was specifically that, here for entertainment. "You should have me over to play poker some night." Paige began as a way to break the tense silence. "Sure. Make it strip poker, and well seeee" responded Spencer, giggling with nervousness. She honestly wanted to get out of the dark basement as quickly as possible and for some strange reason she could not located the press for the life of her. As she opened the various doors and searched the shelves she noticed a beeping emanating from the utility room. "Should something be beeping in that room?" Paige asked, shining her light on the door handle. "No" Spencer responded too quickly for Paige's liking. Walking over to the door Paige opened it slightly and then quickly as if something would jump out at her. Searching the small room with the scope of her flash light she entered and followed the sound of the beeping. Walking over to the telephone box she noticed a small blue light blinking from a battery back-up. "Hey Spence, what are you battery backing up?" she yelled into the other room.

"Nothing I know of…found it!" she replied and walked into the utility room. Tracing the lines from the back-up she opened the telephone box to find a small transmitter hooked into the internet modem. "What the fuck?" whispered Paige, too audible than she intended, causing Spencer to rush to her side. Paige had watched enough crime TV to recognize the transmitter. Nervously she opened her mouth to inform Spencer of her discovery afraid of the consequences, "Spence, I think someone's been monitoring your internet and telephone." "Fuck" was the only thing that Spencer could say. "Don't disconnect it." Paige whispered to Spencer, "your parents and the police need to see this."

Toby had made so many renovations to the house that she never even thought to check the house for anything he may have done that wasn't on his contractor's list. She felt incredibly exposed and violated. This meant that for two or ever more months the A team had seen everything she had seen on the internet and listened to any phone conversations she had on her home phone. Everything. Any email she sent. Any phone conversations she had, any her parents had. Everything she held private and close to her. These realizations hit her like hot bullets.

She broke down in tears on the cold cement floor, falling into pieces as Paige attempted to catch her. She slumped against Paige unable to control her sobs or shaking body. She felt utterly devastated and broken and as Paige tried to hold her she fought, hitting Paige, struggling to break her grip. At this Paige only held her tighter; there was nothing in the world that would tear her apart from Spencer, there was nothing she wouldn't do to save her. Throwing her arms around Paige she felt herself collapse completely unable to gain control of her muscles or lungs. Losing her breath, she could only yell "why?!" through her tears as she continued to convulse. Gathering her strength, Paige lifted the girl, placing her arms under Spencer's legs and arms, and picked her up. She carried her through the darkness of the basement, up to the first floor and then up the second set of stairs until she reached the bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed, Paige lifted her legs and covered her up with the comforter.

Sliding Spencer's body to the middle, Paige climbed in and held the girl for hours until her convulsing and sobbing subsided, doing all she could to comfort her. Once her breath evened out, she fell into a deep slumber, devoid of any energy left to keep her away. Paige laid there and listened to Spencer's lungs rise and fall in the silence of the house, listened for her pulse, making sure through the devastation, she would live. Although it would mean living with the pain of mistrust and betrayal. It was in those hours that Paige decided that she would never let anything else happen to the beautiful girl that slept beside her. She vowed to keep her safe, to make her smile, to find the happiness that showed itself just hours before.

If Toby thought he could play rough-ball with Spencer, he had no idea what he was up against dealing with Paige. There was no way he was going to get away with this, and Paige would make sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello McHastings readers and lovers. Sorry it's been such a long time since I last updated, grad school is a killer. We pick up right where we left off and we get into some heavy stuff so just a warning for possible triggers. Hopefully I'll be updating more regularly, as often as I can, this one's a little short. Reviews/feedback always help : )

Ignescent Part IV

Spencer slept for hours, late into the afternoon before finally waking to face reality again. Although she was groggy upon opening her eyes, she didn't quite understand how she had made it from the basement to her bed. Turning over she found Paige reading her copy of _The Bell Jar. _Ironic, she thought to herself. Paige finished reading the page she was on, dog-earing the page and placing it down onto the bedside table. Paige turned to Spencer, searching her face, searching for any hit if Spencer was okay, searching her eyes, grasping at words she could not compose into sentences to comfort this strongly broken girl. Spencer was the first to break their silence "Hey" she whispered, "Hey" responded Paige. If it weren't for the obvious tension in the air Spencer would have preferred to have Paige whisper all sorts of things in her trademark rasp, something she had always found incredibly attractive. She gazed into those chocolate eyes and wished herself away. Spencer rolled closer to Paige and buried herself against her body, eventually forcing her pulse to match Paige's, forced her breaths to slow, fighting back all tears.

"You carried me all the way up here didn't you?" she probed into Paige's skin, aching to get closer than humanly possible, already assuming the answer. All Paige could do was shake her head, not wanting to relive the details of seeing Spencer collapse like the contents of a burning house. Spencer was amazed at Paige's strength, truly amazed, they were basically the same height, but Spencer always felt taller, and was sure her dead weight was awkward on the two flight trip to her bed. Imagining how she must have looked slumped in Paige's arms made her self-conscious and nervous. But as quickly as her nervousness began, she forced it to subside; she needed to face the fact that her safety was violated and privacy very much compromised. It was a feeling that made her stomach turn and feel light headed, it was a feeling that Spencer had grown used to in her life, and continuously consumed her.

"Has the power come back on?" she asked, getting right to the heart of it, talking herself into facing the situation like ripping off a band-aid, the slower it takes, the more it hurts. She had allowed herself, if one could say "allowed", to break down, but she needed to find the truth out about the situation that would consume her thoughts, starting in the basement.

She had always been petrified of the dark basement though, more than irrational fear, it held dark memories of her childhood that she had built herself upon. How a child builds a solid foundation on trauma to base the rest of their adult life, was beyond Spencer. It was like trying to form a foundation on hot, dry sands: impossible. Memories of her earlier life often haunted her in the depths of the night, sometimes during her classes or at lunch, most times when she was unbelievably down and depressed. It was like fuel that added to her smoldering coal in her chest. If she was having a bad day, she knew she had the ability to intensify her pain by just remembering, something that no one should ever have to go through.

It was also something that Spencer denied to herself for so many years, she knew she wouldn't even believe herself, if she acknowledged the truth. Spencer had hidden memories in the back of her mind like discarded garments in the back of a closet, rarely accessed and even more rarely worn.

She was nine the first time she encountered her father's drunken associates from rowdy basement poker games. Driven by curiosity, she woke up to loud laughter and shrills emanating from the basement on more than one occasion but had never collected up enough nerve to leave the safety of her four poster bed. One particular Saturday night she was more bothered by the noise and commotion then she had even been. She was curious. She wanted to find out why her father preferred spending time with anyone but her.

Sneaking downstairs from the second floor in her pajama dress she peaked around corners only to find one of her father's associates slumped on the stairs blocking her way down to the basement, the older man looking dead to the nine year old. His breathing was so shallow that she was sure of her assumption, yet the curiosity always killed the cat, and Spencer needed to know if there was a dead man on her basement steps.

Tiptoeing to the man she recognized as a man that worked with her father, she gently touched his face with her pointer finger to see if she would procure a reaction. And with as much surprise as she could imagine, he opened his eyes and grunted at Spencer. Turning around she quickly dashed back up the stairs until he caught her ankle. In an angry and drunken state he grabbed her, causing her to slip down the stairs, chest hitting hardwood stoop. Carrying her down into the basement he then proceeded to introduce her to the rest of the drunken poker players as "the little snitch" and for what seemed hours held her to his lap while they continued to play and drink. He father laughed along with the rest of the monsters and turned a blind eye when her captor kissed her repeatedly.

She felt dirty for days and months afterwards, years of anger had built up within her hollow shell. Her pain shook her muscles, the contraction of blood and tissue, and ached within her bones. She resented the fact that he never once attempted to protect his youngest daughter, that he was able to call those men his friends and often invited them back to the house for years after. She fought for so long to forget the ways he had made her feel. She hated herself more for being so curious, for wanted to know more, for thinking she was older and more sophisticated then she was.

And while a storm of gale force winds played across Spencer's eyes all Paige could do was sit and watch. Paige knew that Spencer had gone through something without even knowing what. For years she practiced controlling her own emotions, as to not invite unwanted company probing into her head, and she knew well enough that Spencer was playing the same games with her. And although she felt pangs of sadness for the beautiful girl lying next to her, she knew they both needed time.

Today would not be the day to share with Paige, but she felt that she could obviously trust her, trust her with her life and her shed tears. Paige felt different than anyone she had been with, not just because she was a woman, but because she had trusted Spencer enough to bare her scars, to accept Spencer as she was, never ripping into her for answers that she didn't even know the answers to. Paige was different from anyone she knew, in the way she touched her, in the way she made her feel safe, the way she bore her soul without words, the way she searched her face with those dark brown eyes that held so much of her together.

Rolling even closer to Paige, Spencer outstretched her arms and allowed Paige to engulf her body with in a warm embrace. Wearing only Paige's button up and Paige only wearing a t-shirt, Spencer aligned her body so that their hearts were parallel to each other. She was fighting off the demons in her head and was grappling to the only thing that made her feel safe again. Paige kissed the top of Spencer's head as she found a pocket of space between the mattress and Paige's shoulder. She could have laid there forever just listening to her breathing and her pulse, until Paige's stomach interrupted the moment with a loud growl.

It had been hours since their attempted breakfast and Paige hadn't noticed exactly how hungry she had become until that moment. Rousing from her snuggle spot Spencer motioned to the doorway, "I guess we should eat something before we starve huh?" Nodding at the girl's suggestion, Paige untangled their limbs and made her way to Spencer's closet, it was going to be chilly since they hadn't turned the heat on since before they had gotten home last night. It was weird but Paige had already begun to think of Spencer's bedroom as home. Unknown to her, the only place that Spencer was feeling home was in her arms.

Grabbing a sweater for Spencer and a Shark's hoodie for herself, Paige dressed the two of them. Making their way down to the kitchen this time less exciting as it had been in the morning, but was more full of purpose and need. Leading Spencer downstairs by holding just pinkies, Paige sat her down on the couch and proceeded to start a fire on the fire place, and then began working on breakfast which was now being served at two thirty in the afternoon.

Spencer laid on the couch and let Paige take care of her. Wrapping herself in a blanket she watched the auburn hair girl prepare tea, scrambled eggs and bacon on the gas stove. Getting lost in the moment, she forgot about everything that was going on and drifted to watching the snow fall. The smell of bacon and eggs filled the kitchen and for the first time Spencer was as hungry as Paige. Setting the island, Spencer joined Paige in the kitchen.

The two ate in a comfortable silence and then decided that they should maybe venture outside to shovel the driveway. Afternoon breakfast was enjoyable and Spencer cleaned up the dishes while Paige threw a few more logs into the fire place. The room was beginning to warm up and just as Spencer made her way from the dishwasher to the couch, Paige jumped up with a wild look in her eyes. "Alright Hastings, let's get geared up. We've got an adventure to go on." she explained. Much to her dismay Spencer would have liked to snuggle on the couch all afternoon and into the evening, next to the girl she was falling hard for, but she understood that she couldn't torture the ever active swimmer with immobility any longer.

"What do you have in mind?" queried Spencer with a half smirk on her mouth. "You'll see, but we're going to have to bundle up first."


End file.
